Last Name
by Ceciliacote
Summary: I took the idea from Last Name  song from Carrie Underwood I really love Carrie Underwood so her songs might come often in my story... It suits perfectly well for this fanfiction. AU The beginning of the first chapter is harsh, but the rest'll be brighter


**Olivia's POV**

I was coming back from the exhausting day of work. My boyfriend was staying in the couch and Dad was probably still at work.

- Hello baby, _Brian said pecking my lips with his not paying attention to the cast around my arm. _How was your day?

- Three chases and one trip to the hospital, we arrested them three.

- Whom for? _Brian asked casually sitting back on the couch. _Your partner?

- No, it was for me Brian…_I said as he rose of the couch as I expected. _

- What happened? Are you okay baby? You did not call me?

- I am eighteen, I can take care of myself.

- No, I am there for that, _my uncle said as he came in, looking worried and angry._

- Oh, hey, hi Dad. How… how are you doing?

- I do not know; how are you doing? _He asked, looking even angrier._

- I am fine, _I said smiling._

- Why did not the hospital call me? What did you tell them?

- They did not need any information I could not give them. Come on! I was shot, so what? It is the fifth time in two and a half years! I'm getting used to it, and it was only in the arm! They took the bullet out and gave me this stupid cast! I will be fine okay?

- Olivia! I told you sixteen years old to start working was too early!

- Look, I was faster than everyone in the class, smarter than most, and I was only fifteen when I graduated after the technique because I skipped so many classes so I think that I am big enough to make some smart decisions! You have a whole bunch of detectives that are working for the SVU that are important and they cannot deal without you! Come on! You know that! You could not have been more useful than my partner. He stayed with me the whole time! Don't worry! And Anya came in anyway.

- Next time, young girl, if I do not hear about that, I am getting you transferred to SVU.

- You talk as if it was a threat! It is the most appealing threat I've ever had. I got to go to bed, I am exhausted, _I said hiding the fact that it hurt and I had to rest to heal._

- You are definitely not going to work tomorrow!

- This is unfair, Dad! Come on! Would you refuse one of your…

- Hurt detective to work? Yes I would! Even if he were good!

The bell rang. I went to the door and opened it. The guy in front of me was stunning. His blue eyes were the most amazing eyes I had ever seen.

- Hello, can I do something for you?

- I think I am in the wrong place, _the guy answered._

- No Elliot! Come in! _Dad answered._ Livie! Get him in.

- Of course! Please, come in, _I said smiling lightly to the guy I would have tried to seduce if Brian was not in. _

Our relationship, Brian and me, was kind of bad. We almost separated few days ago after a huge fight. I am not capable of saying to someone that I want it to be over so I suffer from it, but I would have wanted it to be over, and now, I do more than ever!

- Elliot, a friend of the family Olivia, and her boyfriend, Brian.

- Hello, nice to meet you, _the guy said looking at me for longer than decency authorized._

- The pleasure is shared, _I said, blushing lightly, as I did the same, and my boyfriend cleared his throat._ Who are you exactly?

- I am working for Captain Cragen.

- Oh, in the Special Victim Unit? _I said suddenly fascinated by what the man said._

- Yeah, _he said laughing softly._

- Are not you kind of young to be working in this unit?

- Well, I am twenty-one; that makes me the youngest.

- I intend on beating that!

Few weeks later, after I finally left Brian, I came back from the job one day, ten days after our breaking-up. I was feeling totally fine, smiling, but then, I saw him on the porch. I tensed immediately.

- What are you doing out, Brian?

- Well, baby, see, they did not have enough proof!

- You are a fucking dumb liar! I saw you kill this man!

- Eyewitness is not valuable enough, from an ex-girlfriend. This being said, I missed you, _he said coming toward me and kissing me deeply. _

I pushed him away, disgusted.

- I am not your girlfriend anymore!

- Oh, shut it, won't you? I love you and you love me!

- I hate you, Brian!

- Hate is so close to love in so many points! The major being passion!

He took out his gun. I did not have time to take mine that he said:

- If you even make a move, I shoot, Liv!

- Brian, it is assault to a police officer!

- Out of duty, and I am one too! Come inside with me! Cragen is working. When I am done with you, you will be allowed to do whatever you please and I will walk out of your life. Your hands on your head, now! Olivia! _He yelled as I obliged and walked toward the house. _

He was close to me, but not enough for me to take out his gun. I was scared. I knew he wanted revenge. I knew that I should not have tried to make him get in prison, but he deserved it! He killed his best friend because he kissed me, when we **were not even together anymore!** And **I** did not count as a proof. His hand was wrapped against my waist, getting my belt away, and my gun and cell phone with it. He was a policeman too, and he had the advantage of being bigger and more violent than me, so he would not hesitate as to shoot me if ever I tried to take the gun.

- Let's go to your bedroom, Livie! _He said in an authoritarian voice, his gun still pointed at me, making me move toward the bedroom as I fought back tears._

- Brian, you have to think before doing that! I mean, you know what my Dad works for!

- Yes, but I know very well his schedule too. I know that at two in the afternoon, he will not come back before five hours.

- This is a mistake, Brian! Stop! I told you I did not love you and I was not lying!

He did not care about what I was saying anymore, and one of his hands was resting on my breast. I knew what would follow… I **always** said no. He never appealed me enough. He hand-cuffed me to the headboard of the bed and undressed me, touching everywhere he could while he was doing it. He was not soft, and he was violently ripping my clothes off of my body. Tears fell on my cheeks, and I could not do anything against them. He undressed himself than, and he put music on loud, probably to hide the cry of pain I would inevitably be doing. Indeed, I knew it would hurt, and I knew that when it was a rape, it was even harder. I tried to kick him and to move away from his sight, but he got sick of it, took **my** handcuffs and handcuffed my feet together, tying a rope to the handcuffs and tying it to the footboard of the bed. They were still a little wide, by the position he tied me in. he entered me violently and a loud cry fell away from my mouth. I was hurt, it was burning and he was way too violent for my intact hymen. It hurt like hell and I wanted to kill the man! I bit him hard when he tried to kiss me, feeling the blood fill my mouth, and it was not my blood, it was his. Then, I totally lost consciousness when he, I guess, hit me with his gun on the head. I woke up still handcuffed to both sides of the bed, and he was long gone. I looked at the clock. Two hours before seven. The tears were still running down my cheeks, and I had a fucking big pain in the right shoulder and left hip. I also felt a humongous pain in the right ankle, and I did not know what to do against these pains; I'd fall back to sleep.

- Help! _I cried knowing nobody would come because the radio was loud and we were living in a house, not an apartment. _Come on, anyone! _I cried more._

Half an hour later, I was woken up by someone putting a blanket on me. I tried to move away of this grasp. His voice was appeasing and I recognized John Munch's voice. He was talking but I could not really hear him. I think I had a concussion.

- Beautiful, wake up. Can you hear me? _He asked softly as I hummed in answer._ Baby-girl! Who did that to you? I am so sorry, sweetheart.

- Why? What? I don't understand… You did what? You are no responsible.

- Baby-girl, I am sorry it happened to you… Who did that to you?

- Brian… Brian Cassidy, _I admitted turning my gaze away, ashamed._

- Oh baby! Look, we got to go to the hospital! You lost a lot of blood. I called an ambulance. Look, you got to stay with me! You have a pretty big bump on your forehead and your guess that you have a concussion most-likely will be proven true.

- How do you know I thought that?

- Well, you are a smart girl who has a huge pain in the head, and who wants to sleep a lot, so you must have thought that. Listen, you have been shot and marked… you are not in a good shape. The burnings are because the sliced skin… he whipped you.

- What? I hate this fucking man! I am going to be marked for my whole life now! He wanted me to have scars! He wanted me to be unappealing for other men.

I heard John talk in his cell phone:

- Fin, here now! Oh, sorry, at Cragen's house… don't tell him! He will be scared and pissed. Olivia does not want him to know… Don't tell Elliot neither, he will be scared for the girl he fell in love with! Come on! Yeah, as fast as you can! Thank you!

- Who is in love with whom? _I asked really confused by the talking; my head still hurt like shit! _Who were you talking to? What are you saying? Talking to dad? Don't!

- No, don't worry… my partner. We have a case here…

- Oh that is what I am now! _I said crying some more._

I heard the sirens of the ambulance and I had a move that hurt me more.

- The handcuffs! And I am naked! Please, help me cover up!

- We are not allowed to move you… and you are already covered up.

- Come on! Don't let them see me like this! I am scared… John! Please Uncle John!

- I am sorry, baby-girl, _he said petting my hair._

- No males until I am dressed-up, am I being understood?

- You are way too proud, young girl, but it will be my pleasure to make them listen to your will. However, am I a male? Do you want me to leave?

- No, you found me, you already saw me, _I said shrugging before moaning in pain._

- Baby girl! The asshole shot you in the right shoulder! Don't move it! It is not a good…

- Got it with the pain, thank you, _I said annoyed and hurt. _

- Hello, _I heard him say in the distance, as he opened the door._ Could we have only girls first, please…? It is a SVU case, and it would not be appropriate if guys saw her after such a traumatic event. Thank you for your understanding.

I heard two different types of footsteps, that I did not know, but I knew it was both women because of the high-heels distinct clip-clop. I was scared. I did not want them to see my body. When John left, I looked at it myself, not caring about the pain, and I yelped in horror. I was really ugly! It was a case we would have handed-up to Dad.

- Hello, Olivia, my name is Angela, and I am going to be looking at your body to see if we can move you enough to dress you up, _a good-looking nurse told me._

- Fine, do whatever you please. I know how it works, my dad works for SVU.

- Good, this is going to help us, _she said lifting the blanket, making me moan and look away. _Okay, have you seen yourself already? _She asked as I nodded. _Okay, you have seen yourself, then, you know what it looks like. What would you do with yourself, as a policewoman? Would you have called the ambulance?

- Yes I would, but I would have called the SVU, and I would have asked only to woman ambulances to come and help the woman. It is a traumatic event and this person might be scared of men for a while, _I said not even thinking I was actually talking about myself, but talking about a fictive case. _I would try to dress her as soon as the people taking care of her would allow it to be done, _I said, and reality struck, that __**I **__was that case. _Can I get dressed? _I asked in a so-small voice I was not sure they would hear._

- We will try to get you dressed, but it might be hard, _she explained softly._

We tried, and I was controlling myself not to yell in pain at every move. I felt blood fill my mouth as I bit my inner-cheek. It hurt me much, and we put a hospital gown. Then, they called the men, and they transferred me on a stretcher. John was there, and his partner, Fin I think, if I remember well from their conversation, arrived. I was shy. I felt like going to sleep, but Uncle John would not let me. I cried a little and I asked him to let me sleep. When he said that if I slept he had to call my Dad, I let him talk to me and annoy me as much as he wanted, as long as he did not call Dad. I was shy, ashamed, and I did not want anything to be done to me. We arrived in the hospital room and the doctor, a male, was talking nicely to me:

- Hello Olivia, my name is Ryan Taylor, I am… _He started before I started to move away from him, his name sounding __**way too much**__ like Brian's name. _

- Oh great! _Uncle John said, _can we have another doctor whose name does not look in any way like Brian Cassidy, please?

- Oh, sorry, _the doctor said looking embarrassed, going to get someone else._

- I am sorry, _I whispered. _I do not mean to react this way. I will control my feelings…

- No! It is not your fault, baby-girl.

- Do you have to do a rape kit? _I asked in a small voice. _

- I think we do, but just to prove the identity. Do you know if he used a condom?

- I do not think so… but I could not say… I was tied up to the bed, _I said looking away._

- Baby-girl, you can cry if you want to, _he said petting my hair again. _It is normal.

- I am fine, _I lied, looking away. _

His cell phone rang and he cursed in a small voice.

- Munch! Hey captain Cragen, _He said making me gasp. _Yeah, well, we actually kind of already have a case… Ask Stabler and Mirabella! I arrived on a scene and it was a case for the Special Victim Unit. Yes, I'll give you the details… What, you want them now? No, Captain, please… I am at the hospital with the Vic, who is right beside me. No, it is not necessary for you to come! Fine… Yes. Please, don't come… Okay… I am sorry, baby-girl, _he said after shutting his cell phone._ Your Dad is coming.

- What? No! I don't want him over! He is going to be crazily mad! Please!

- Baby-girl, he is my boss, I am not allowed to ask him not coming to a crime scene, or to see a victim… I am sorry, Olivia, _he said in a sincere apologetic voice. _

- I know, _I said, as the doctor came in._

- Hello, I am Katarina Mitchells… I am going to take care of you. How are you feeling?

- Perfectly fine! Never been better actually! _I said sarcastically. _

- Sorry… What happened here?

- My ex wanted me. Well, apparently, he got me.

- Yeah, well, he must not have loved you much, _she said stupidly. _

- Sorry, but are all the doctors as stupid as you? _I asked meanly, not on purpose._

- Olivia! _John said in a reproving tone. _Excuse yourself to the lady. It was stupid what she said, but she is astonished by how you look, which is normal!

- Yeah, of course! I must be her worst case ever, right? You can say it. Sorry, _I spat._

- I am very sorry, Olivia. I did not mean it. It is true that I am astonished by the way you look, but it is only because it was done by your ex-boyfriend. Look, you have to have some blood given to your body, you lost a lot. I have to take away the three bullets he shot you, and then, try to patch up the places why he whipped you, as well as the tattoo. What does this tattoo means, by the way?

- What tattoo? I do not have any tattoo that you can see now…

- The one on your right hip. It is… _she said looking closely. _

- Do not tell me… I will discover later, and I think I know what it is. Forget it, now!

- Fine… You will be sent to surgery as soon as possible, _she said, and it was the last thing I heard. _

**Don's POV**

- Why did not you tell me? My daughter is laying here and you **forgot **to tell me?

- Don, I am sorry! She is as important to me as she is to you, and she asked you to do not know it. Look, as soon as she had her seizure, I was about to call you to ask you to be fast!

- I cannot believe you did not tell me that your new Vic was actually my daughter! How can you be so stupid? I am the one living with her all the time! She might not even recover the use of her right foot! It exploded her ankle. I cannot…

- Don, she will be fine, _my great friend told me as tears ran down my face. _

- What will we do? How will I be capable of helping her when I feel guilty!

- Why would you feel guilty, Don?

- Well, John, she tried to make her boyfriend arrested, but I was in the shop when her friend has been killed, and I did not see anything! I did not tell them that I did not believe Jake was capable of suicide. She lived a loss and a lost at once! She lost her battle against him and she lost her friend. Why did not she defend herself?

**Olivia's POV**

I woke up and everything around me was a blur. I did not remember… Oh, forget it, I did remember what happened. I saw Dad looking at me anxiously.

- I am fine; _I tried to say through my soar throat._

- Liar! We caught Cassidy, if it can help you feel better. Fin is interrogating him.

- Dad, I am sorry… He had a gun and he seemed crazy! I could not reach for mine, he would have shot, and then, he took my belt away. I could not… I am sorry…

- Oh baby! You do not have to be sorry!

- Can I sleep, Dad please?

- Yeah… I love you, sweetie…

- I love you too, Dad.

I woke up again later. Everything was still hard to discern with my tired eyes. From this day on, I never said anything about that, and I came up by myself, the faster I could to go back home, and mostly to work, where I went back two months later. After six months, I went to Las Vegas.

**Olivia's POV**

Carrie Underwood; Last Name:

Last night I got served a little bit too much of that poison baby  
Last night I did things I'm not proud of  
And I got a little crazy  
Last night I met a guy on the dance floor  
And I let him call me baby

And I don't even know his last name  
Oh, my mama would be so ashamed  
It started off "Hey cutie, where ya from?"  
And then it turned in,  
"Oh no, what have I done?"  
And I don't even know his last name

We left the club right around three o'clock in the morning  
His Pinto sitting there in the parking lot Well it should have been a warning  
I had no clue what I was getting into  
So I blame it on the Cuervo  
Oh where did my manners go?

And I don't even know his last name  
Oh, my mama would be so ashamed  
It started off "Hey cutie, where ya from?"  
And then it turned in,  
"Oh no, what have I done?"  
And I don't even know his last name  
Here we go...

Today I woke up thinkin' about Elvis somewhere in Vegas  
I'm not sure how I got here  
Or how this ring on my left hand just appeared out of nowhere  
I gotta go  
I take the chips and the Pinto and hit the road  
They say what happens here stays here  
All of this will disappear  
There's just one little problem...

I don't even know my last name  
Oh my mama would be so ashamed  
It started off "Hey cutie, where ya from?"  
And then it turned in,  
"Oh no, what have I done?"  
And I don't even know my last name

What have I done  
What have I done  
What have I done  
Oh, what have I done  
I don't even know my last name

It turned into  
"Oh no, what have I done?"  
And I don't even know my last

It started off "Hey cutie, where ya from?"  
And then it turned into  
"Oh no, what have I done?"  
And I don't even know my last name

my last name

I was listening to this song over and over, and I could not believe myself. It was not my type! And I just went out of a hard relationship, I was never drinking, and my friends were there with me! How could this happen to me?

- Liv! We got to go! _My friend Anya told me._

- Any, I cannot go! I start tomorrow in New York! My flight goes in three hours! I do not have time to go shopping! _I yelled to my friend, whom I did not want to see, ashamed of what happened last night._

She knew me way too well… Three seconds later, the door opened and she came, running on my bed, but stopped before jumping on it.

- I should not jump on it, should I? There was a male in this, wasn't one?

- I think so… _I said blushing deeply._ Why did you let me do that?

- What? I don't even remember what happened last night! Well, I remember my boyfriend who was with me in a bed, but other than that, Nothing! _She said laughing._

- Well… I remember some things… I think I was drunk, too drunk to remember if I was actually sick. I sure did not think I drank enough to make the worst mistake in my life?

- What? _Anya asked lost._ He was that bad?

- No! _I answered loudly because he was pretty good if I remember well. _He was okay.

- Okay. Then why is there… OH MY GOD! Olivia! _She said sympathetically after her eyes stood on my left hand where a very beautiful jewel stood. _What have you done?

- I don't know… I don't even remember what he looks like… I don't even remember what he feels like… I mean, I must have been pretty wasted, _I said with a shy smile._

- Well… He is out of your life now, is not he?

- Thank God yes! Anya, are you moving with me to New York? You could work at Maureen's shop! _I suggested knowing our friend would be happy to work with her._

- If you ever meet this wonderful husband of yours, I will. But until then, you have to grow up by yourself. However, if the husband come back or actually comes for the first time in your life, I will be happy to move to protect you!

- Anya, you are talking to a cop!

- Yes, but a really sexy cop! _She said laughing. _And what would Andy do without me?

- He lives at two hours from where I will be staying.

- I will think then… but as you said, I will live only at two hours of your house!

- Fine… I got to get ready to take the plane. _I said starting packing. _

Two hours later, I was presenting myself, waiting for the flight to leave the ground. I went in the first class and sat in a very comfortable seat, falling asleep as soon as they brought me a pillow. I slept the whole time. When we arrived after a not-so-long flight, I called a taxi and it drove me to my new apartment. I found everything I settled the week before, and I ate before going to bed again. My first day tomorrow would be hard, and I wanted to forget about that… do I dare say it?... Hus.. you understand what of mine that I would probably never meet again. I forced my brain to shut down for me to be able to sleep. The next morning, I woke up at four, after ten hours of deep, consecutive sleep. Add it to the five hours in the plane, I was pretty much ready for a first day in a new job. I got up, got dressed, and went running. There were not many people outside at four thirty, but during my whole hour of running, some faces passed by, but I did not see them. I came back home, took a shower and got dressed. I left and was by the bullpen at six thirty. As I was expected for seven, I went eat breakfast in a little shop which sold healthy food in front of work. I reached the bullpen at six fifty-five, Captain Cragen, was waiting for me at the entrance and a bright smile lit his face.

- Hi Dad, How are you?_ I asked kissing his cheeks._

- I am fine, thank you. What about you?

- I am fine too, and I am eager to start working. Am I Fin's partner?

- No, it would not work… Your relationship is too close to one another, but we still have five minutes. How was your trip in Vegas? Did not do too many mistakes?

- What do you think? _I asked laughing, to hide my embarrassment. _

- It is what I thought… You do not know how to have fun! You are a way too reasonable young lady! _He said starting walking toward the Special Victim Unit._ Follow me, I'll introduce you to your new partner. Elliot! _He called up as a wonderfully beautiful young man came into my sight_, this is Olivia Benson… Olivia, Elliot.

- It is a pleasure to meet you, _the young men who looked like I knew him from somewhere said grinning and showing me his left hand._

Oh my God! It is HIM! I married this guy!** I don't even know ****our**** last name**! At least, he was beautiful… I knew him, but it would definitely be hard to face him now that I started to actually remember what happened that night. Okay, the main parts remained dark, but we definitely danced and kissed, and if we married, we most-likely did something else than only that. I answered by giving him my right hand, which he took, smiling even more.

- Elliot, show her around.

- Yes captain! _He answered introducing me to the two other guys._

- This is Fin Tutuola and this is John Munch.

- Hello little one, what's your name and how old are you? _Fin asked._

- Olivia Benson, eighteen years old, almost nineteen, but do not be mistaken, I have been working for the NYPD for two years and a half.

- Hey baby-Girl… _Munch said hugging me tight_. Ready for the thrill?

- I've been waiting for that for so long! Of course I am ready for this!

- It will not always be easy, and sometimes, it will be sincerely disgusting.

- How do you two know each other? _Elliot asked_.

- He's a friend of the family, _I said smiling kindly at John._

- Ok. Follow me, I am going to show you the place.

I followed him every where. However, I was a little uneasy, when I saw him lock the door of the crib.

- Elliot, I should really go see if they need things downstairs…

- We got to talk. We already met once or twice, or more… but I think that our last encounter resumed to something quite weird, did not it?

- Yes it did… If I am not mistaken, but I was quite wasted…

- Yeah, so was I. however, I married the night before last.

- So did I… what will we do? And if you say even **one** word about it to Don, I will make sure you never say it to anyone again, Elliot!

- Don? Oh, you mean the captain! Well, I am not crazy! If I wanted to die I would tell him! We would not be allowed to be partners, but why is it so important to you?

- What? For nothing, let's just say he is a friend of my tutors too… And Munch neither! You can say it to Agent Tutuola if you want to, but you better make pretty damn sure he does not say it to anyone because I will have to kill you, _I said half-serious, smiling._

- You are sexy when you are threatening like that, _he said grinning. _

- Go to hell… _I growled going toward the locked-door in front of which he stood._

- It seems to me that I just signed a contract with the Devil; it is a good step to obey you, my dear little **wife.**

- Go to… Fuck you! You're such a jerk! We won't stay married long!

- I will not sign the divorce paper, sweetheart!

- We do not even know each other! Come on, think Elliot! We cannot do that!

- I don't know… I guess if we met there, in a world so big, it must be for a reason.

- Oh Come on… Elliot, don't go romantic on me! _I growled with rolling eyes. _

- I am not trying to go romantic on you, but, _he said leaning on my ear_, I remember some things that I would be ready to feel again, _he said biting my ear._

- Go to hell, _I repeated myself, controlling the moan I had and pushing him on the door, getting him off of me._ I am not going to be your wife forever. Let me go, please… I am not easy with the situation and we might have a case.

- Can we go out for an ice cream tonight please, to sort this out?

- Fine, but here, I am Olivia Benson, single and pleasing agent. You are known as…?

- Elliot… Elliot Stabler.

- Stabler, Benson! _Captain Cragen yelled, and we rushed downstairs, my cheek flushed._ You okay? _I answered by a nod. _Anyway, you got a case.

And we solved our first case. The little five years old was being abused by her father. She said it but we could not prove it yet. We did an investigation and solved the problem easily in eight hours. At five, our day ended.

- For Olivia's first day, I suggest we all go eat somewhere, my treat, _Uncle Don said._

- Good idea! _The guys agreed. _Where do we go, sweetheart? _Elliot asked._

- Huh, _I said, apparently hesitating, but mostly disturbed because of his nickname. _Huh… I don't know, wherever you want to go eat…

- Your decision, baby! _John added, making me feel more comfortable. _

I said my favourite restaurant and we went there in two cars, my little mustang and Uncle Don's Mazda 3. Fin and John went in with Don, and Elliot came in my car.

- Can I take the wheel? _Elliot asked with a seductive smile._

- No way, this is my car with my money, you won't be ruining it now!

- I drive pretty well, _he said offended, _but fine.

He got in and sat in the passenger seat. I started to drive toward the place where I had to go, and his hand rested on my thigh. I told him and he answered he knew. He started moving it, caressing my thigh in a nice way that made me feel uneasy again. I asked him to take it away from where it rested. It did, indeed, feel too good for me to appreciate the touch. He laughed and took his hand toward himself, and he put his lips in my neck, making me moan and lose concentration. I stopped at a red light and blushed, leaning into him without realising it. Then, my senses came back, when he started biting, showing me I actually wanted him more than I was willing to admit.

- Stabler! Stop doing that! _I begged in a small voice, scared that if I spoke loud, it would show I actually did not want him to stop._

- Why? You are my wife, baby! I am allowed to do anything, and I watched after your sexy ass the whole day, and I could not even touch you, it was a terrible thing! _He said putting his lips back on my neck, going up, toward my ear, again._

- Elliot Stabler, stop talking so dirty to me, I am worth of more than that. Holy crap! You are one fucking-good bastard!

- Thank you, _he said smiling on my ear._

- Stop doing that, light's green!

- So what?

- Concentration is at zero percent when you do that! _I said as the cars were honking behind us. _Elliot stop!

He obeyed and I could finally concentrate a little on the road. I was, at the same time, thinking at how hard it would be to stay alone with him and thinking I definitely should not anymore… it would be threatening for my mental health and the coherence between my actions and my sayings. I could not accept to fall for this guy! I did not even know him.

- So, Elliot, have a family?

He told me his story. He had two sisters and a brother, his father was in the Navy. He **was.** He died four years ago, leaving him to be the father of the family, the other members of the family having now four years old, eight years old and thirteen years old. Their mom was a drunken woman who was hurt by the death of her husband and she started drinking then. His sister of thirteen years old needed him to understand what happened with their mother. The little one, who was now four, called him dad because she never knew her father, and even his brother called him Daddy-El. This brought tears to my eyes. It must be so wonderful to have these relationships with other human beings, with family. He had a lot of responsibilities, and it was actually the first time he ever went out since the last four years, usually going back home every day right after the work.

- Kathleen is pretty disturbed, but she starts to understand. She looks toward me to have approbation to go out with friends. Dickie is an adorable little boy who is eager to learn and to know how to fight; however, he knows that he cannot fight too much. Lizzie, well, Lizzie is my little baby. My mother does not see them anymore…

He continued with his story, admitting that he was hurt a lot by the reaction of his mother, but that he could understand. Seeing her children hurt her mother too much, reminding her of her dead husband. He was eighteen when his dad died, so it was a hard step that he never accepted to live. It was one of the first times he actually talked about it, and he was supporting his mother the best he could after their loss. But as he was raising, trying to help her up, she was falling even more, not even pulling a muscle to rise anymore. He brought tears to my eyes again. I shook my head not to cry. A tear ran down his cheek as he looked toward the window of the car, trying to hide it. I pulled over, and hugged him tightly. It was crazy how, half an hour ago, I almost hated him, and how now, I simply could have fallen in love with him. He then did as a little kid and rested his head on my collarbone, snuggled against my neck, trying to hold back his tears. We were almost there, something like three minutes drive, but we would stay here until he was ready. He continued speaking through his tears. He was okay with the fact that his father died, it was only normal to him, now. However, he could not stand the guilt he was feeling when he left home like he did for a week-end in Vegas, where he married me, and as he was going out tonight, he felt a little bit worse. However, the kids were at his aunt's house, who insisted for him taking a week break of the kids, living a normal life for a week. He then, calmed down a little and wiped his cheeks. He thanked me for having listened to him, and I wiped away the tears on my cheek, too.

- You are welcome, Elliot. You are a strong man! It is awesome! I did not know you went through that much! It is amazing!

- No… I had to. I could not do otherwise. I had to stay strong for my family.

And I told him that it was what made him so strong. Most people would have decided by themselves to take the part of the mother and just "fuck it all". However, **he **stood strong for his family, never showing what he really felt, and it was amazingly cute. Then, I did something I was not expecting myself to do, and I kissed his lips. The kiss was gentle, smooth, but fast enough, we got hooked by the "heat of the moment", and our tongue met, as we held each other closer by the neck, where our arms were wrapped. When we separated, I blushed and drove toward the restaurant where we were late. I knew Don had to stop at the house, but now, I was stressed. I knew he would suspect something. Indeed, when we arrived, he looked at me suspiciously. I must admit that I must have had quite a strong shade of red on my cheeks. I did not look at him directly in the eyes, I was shy and I thought I was falling in love with him, even though I did not know him that much. I was scared of myself… my last – and only – relationship ended badly with my boyfriend ending up in prison for rape of an eighteen years old woman called Olivia Benson, and I was getting scared of falling in love too quickly. But after all, what could I do? I was already married to him. I went inside the restaurant.

- It was long… What happened? Caught in traffic? _My uncle asked._

- Yes, I took the way by the forest; _I lied, knowing he would believe me._

- Good… _Captain Cragen said showing his badge to the lady who asked us to follow her. _

We sat at the table, Elliot sitting in front of me, Munch on one side of me, Cragen the other, and Fin sat beside Elliot. We ordered and talked about stuff, about our lives, and I learnt a lot of things over people now being my colleagues. Well, I did not learn as much as I learnt about Elliot, but what do you want? I am now Olivia Stabler! (God help me! I don't know what I will do about that!) We separated after the thing, and Elliot came in my car again. We went to a movie together. I sent a text message to my Dad "I know I said I would come to your house tonight, but don't expect me, I'll be there tomorrow… I'll go at the apartment tonight…" Less than a minute later, I received: "Are you going out with Elliot? Because you know it is illegal according to the rules, right?" I automatically answered: "Of course, I know, and nothing will ever happen between me and this man." He answered: "Really? Btw, are you at the wheel of the car? Because if you are stop texting me now!" "No, I am not driving, Elliot is." I answered, knowing he would react badly, but I did not mind right now. "You let Elliot, a guy you barely know, drive YOUR Mustang?" "Yes, uncle, he drives well… it will be fine! See you later, got to go. Love you!" He answered one last time: "Ok… Love you too." I turned my attention to the driver.

- Having a great conversation?

- Yeah, my dad is pretty scared because I told him I would go back home and he warned me against guys, and stuff…

- Is not it too late for you to be warned against men? _He asked smiling and taking my left hand, and touching my ring, that I forgot to take off._

- Talking about that, how come did you have such an expensive ring on you?

- Well… _he said being uncomfortable_, let's say I was about asking the big question to my girlfriend when she dumped me. She found out she was lesbian.

- Oh, El, I am sorry… _I said, weirdly not feeling angry for him taking me as the second girl. _ It must have been hard on you!

- Yeah, pretty hard, but it was not that bad. I am still her friend, and, I mean, I got married to what seems to me like a mysterious and wonderful young woman. What about the gold ring?

- It was my grand-father's. Elliot, what will we do?

- I would have suggested that we should stay married, I am against divorce actually, and I know that we did not mean it, but I really am against that…

- Well, I never thought I would be neither, but I don't know… I think we should not divorce now, but that we could maybe postpone the decision…

- Yeah, that is a good idea…

- So what are we doing? _I asked, not really knowing if we were dating or not, as I got out of the car._

- Well… we date? I guess, I mean, we go to the theatre together, and we go to an ice cream after, and we kind of kissed so…

- Well, I guess we could call it dating, but I do not know if it is wise…

- Yeah, neither do I… it is against the book, but we do not really care about the book, _Elliot said, grabbing my waist and bringing me closer to him, putting his lips on mine, kissing me softly, and I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him closer, kissing him as my tongue was tickling his lower lip, which parted for a while, and our tongue mixed, and it was a wonderful feeling, but we parted after a little while. _

We went to the movie. It was good, but we spent the whole movie looking at each other, or almost, and sometimes, we would kiss, but I was a little shy about the PDA (public demonstration of Affection). After, we went for an ice cream, holding hand, walking, and he met someone who looked at our hands suspiciously.

- Elliot Stabler, you did not tell me you had someone in your life, _the blonde girl said._

- Hey Katie! Well, I did not know myself before two days ago…

- I was in your life, two days ago… By the way, she's really hot! _She said eying me._

- Well… I married her in Vegas, _he admitted bluntly. _I know she is hot. Katie, I would like you to meet Olivia Benson… or Stabler, we have not decided yet, Olivia, Katie, my ex, the one I told you about in the car.

- It is a pleasure to meet you, _the woman said admiring my body and shaking my hand._

- Yeah, the pleasure is shared, _I smiled, uneasy. _

- Where are you going?

- To an ice cream, mind to join us, _I suggested. _

- No, it would be my pleasure. Elliot, would it embarrass you if I brought my girl?

- No, it would be a pleasure… Wouldn't it, Olivia?

- Yeah, it would, _I said seeing a tall black-haired woman coming toward us._

- Elliot, Olivia, my girlfriend, Tamara.

- Hello, nice to meet you, _we answered at the same time, showing our hands. _

- Yeah, thanks, nice to meet you too, _she said shaking our hands one after the other._ Katie, is this **your** ex Elliot?

- Yeah, but it hers now. Is not she hot?

- Could we stop talking like that about me?

- Sure…

- Come in, beautiful! _I said, laughing, before our phones rang at the same time, as we were inside._ Benson! _I said as he was saying Stabler_.

- Hey, baby-girl, did I hear Elliot talk beside you?

- What? _I asked as I saw the time. _Am I that kind? To go out on the first day we meet each other? It is what I thought… a case? Yes, it will be possible to meet at five am. See you there, Uncle John! Good night, _I said laughing. _

- Come on Fin! I don't need that kind of advice! _I heard Elliot say_. Hey! Okay… what happened? Okay, okay, I will ask her! Good night Fin! Yeah, that is it! Shut up. Yeah!

- What did Fin want? _I asked worriedly_.

- He wanted me to go slowly with you… Why did he say that?

- I don't know, _I said turning my eyes away from him, walking toward my refrigerator. _

- Olivia Stabler! Don't do that and tell me the truth!

- What are you doing? Using the husband and wife thing on me? I am sorry, but we are not really the normal type of husband and wife! We did a mistake in Vegas.

- What is it that Fin meant? _He insisted._

- Elliot… I have not said things like that to anyone… _I said passing a hand through my hair._

- Why would Fin know about it then? _He replied accusingly._

- Well… he found me in the hospital, Elliot, and I was a victim, Munch found me handcuffed to my headboard and footboard, okay? This is the only reason on earth why he would know about that! _I yelled before realising what I had done._ Oh crap… Elliot, I am sorry, I did not mean to say that! I got to go! _I said going toward the front door and almost leaving before he caught my left hand. _

- Olivia, talk to me. First, it is your house, so it would be stupid of you to leave. Second, you have to talk about it, and I think I can understand. I will not see you as a Vic, Liv.

- I don't know Elliot, I cannot really do that, _I said my gaze going from him to the wall, over again. _I am scared… I haven't talked about it, as in **ever.**

- Well, if you **want** to talk about it, we will call it even. When did it happen?_ He asked, making sure that I would not talk if it was not willingly._

- Six months ago, _I said raising my eyes toward the ceiling, mad at the tears filling up my eyes._ His name was Brian, Brian Cassidy. I believe you met him.

- Your ex boyfriend? _He yelled in disbelief._ Was he your first one?

- Well… yeah, _I said, mad at the tears that really wanted to leave my eyes. _

He pulled me toward the couch, and sat, sitting me on him after, putting me into his arms, petting my hair and rubbing my back. I do not know why, but he attracted the confidence in me, and I said everything that happened, the way I felt too. I cried the whole time. I did not know what to do, but he looked at me in the eyes, with some kind of pride in it the whole time, except when I put my head in his collarbone and tried to calm myself with his scent, and the way he was petting me. I talked about my injuries, my shoulder, ankle and hip, as well as the second hip, where a tattoo had been made.

- This tattoo was meant for when I would have found my soul mate. It will never mean the same again. I am scared that he will appear again, anytime. It was my first time, and I ended up in the hospital, with a concussion, being in a wheelchair for a month and a half, and that is just because I am one stubborn bitch.

Then, I showed him my tattoo, which was on my right hip, at the level of my bottom. He saw that it was not really a tattoo, more of a burning with hot iron. He gasped and I saw his fist clench. I took his chin in my hand and raised his face toward me.

- My dear husband, this is now past. They arrested him, and as he taped it, _I said looking away,_ they got the jerk and he rests in jail, _I continued before kissing him._

- Olivia Benson! What did I hear?

- Dad? _I asked seeing Captain Cragen coming out of my bedroom._ What are you doing here? I mean, I told you I would be coming home tomorrow night!

- Yeah, but I wanted to make sure you did not make a mistake with a hot partner.

- Dad, I… _I started looking on the floor sheepishly, moving out of Elliot's embrace_, I can explain… Elliot and I…

- Are married? _He asked, confirming that he heard that part of the conversation._

- What did you hear? _I asked still to shy to look at him in the eyes._

- Only the last sentence before you kissed him. _He told me, and I sighed in relief._

- I did not tell you I did not do any mistake, you assumed I did not! And I am not quite sure it is a mistake. And when I told you that, I did not know who my husband was… I thought he walked out of my life forever after that night in Vegas. I am sorry, dad…

- Okay, you have said the word dad at least three times since the beginning of the conversation, _my husband interrupted._ Cragen's your father?

- Not really, he is my uncle, but he adopted me as soon as my mother gave me birth. I was a rape-issued kid, and my mother would have hated me so Dad adopted me.

- You never told me you had a daughter!

- Well, I knew she would be coming in my Unit sooner or later, and it was better for people not to know. But we were not talking about that right now. Elliot, you know what the book says, and so do you, Olivia.

- We are not talking to our boss, right now, I was talking to my father, _I said grinning. _

- As your father, I do think Elliot is the best choice you could have possibly made, but as your boss, I must say it is against the rule.

- Okay, first, we are dating and married, and it is not… well, yes, it is our fault, but it was not on purpose and we were married before, hence, you have to be blind about us, please dad! You wouldn't want your daughter to divorce, would you?

- Olivia! I was not even there to walk you down the aisle.

- Well, we will marry in the Church if we find we can live together and if we find love to each other, what I think won't be hard to find, _I said looking at Elliot lovingly._

- Olivia, do you really think, with your rational mind, that you are doing the good thing?

- Yes dad, _I answered without hesitation. _And I have not lost my rational mind.

- Fine… I will let you too. Hey, why are you… What is on your hip?_ Dad asked looking closely, realising that my pants were tugged down a little._

- Dad… it is nothing, _I said covering it up. _Good night now!

- Baby…

- Yeah, me too daddy! I love you! _I said kissing his cheek and wavering him to the door, going back to the couch where my husband stood._

- Your DAD does not know about the torture you've been through? _He asked accusingly, again._

- What did you want me to do? Break his heart? _I asked in disbelief._ He was already hurt by the event… You cannot believe…


End file.
